Do you ever stop and think about the infinite possibilities that there are everywhere? I mean, what would have happened if I had started this asking “Have you ever thought about…?” Would this have been a completely different post? Would different people have read it? Would it have had a different effect, if any at all?
Sometimes I think about that.
In yesterday’s Doctor Who episode The Rings of Akhaten, *WARNING: Spoilers!* Clara Oswald defeats the monster who lives on life and memories with “the most important leaf in human history”. This leaf IS the most important because, as her father said to her mother once, “This exact leaf had to grow in that exact way in that exact place so that that precise wind could tear it from that precise branch and make it fly into this exact face at that exact moment. And if just one of those tiny little things had never happened, I’d never have met you. Which makes this the most important leaf in human history.” Clara giving the monster this leaf to devour lead to its demise because the infinite number of possibilities of what could have been had on of those tiny things changed overwhelmed it and it died.
There are so many possibilities, every little tiny decision you make could have MEGA effects and I’m not saying this to be all “Ooh no pressure, but choosing toast or cereal could change your life! Mwahahahahahahaa!” (Although I mean it could, like one day what if you were going to have cereal and then changed your mind and had toast. What if changing your mind and having toast prevented you from choking on said toast and dying!)
I find this incredibly fascinating, all the things that could have been, because I believe God sets up devine appointments and everything happens for a reason. So say I make a decision to grab my water bottle in the morning and that sets me back and I miss the first bus and have to take the second. I believe that there’s a reason I am on that second bus. Maybe it’s to help me stop being such a control freak and to realize that I don’t have to live on such a tight schedule (just chill Becky, man!) or maybe I needed to grab that water bottle because due to a decision someone else might make later on, I might need it.
Sometimes I find myself wondering about the effects of the little things. Did saying good morning to my bus driver make his day? probably not, but it could have! Did giving someone who got a cut the bandaid I always keep in my bag save their life? probably not but maybe now I can have a conversation with them and maybe we’re gonna be great friends.
In November I was sitting in my university English class waiting for it to begin. The desk were like this: ___ ___ , going two by two in three rows. I sat in a pair against a wall but on the aisle seat. A girl came into the class and she was on crutches. There were a few seats open and she was looking to see which would be easiest to get to with crutches.
Crossroads. Two paths. Each with fully formed lives following them. How do they differ? What would have changed?
I offered her my seat saying I’d move over to the wall seat. She sat down and we started chatting. We’ve sat together in English class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for five months. I would definitely consider, we’ll just call her J, to be a friend. She a bit older than me and she’s in dance. She helps with cancer research and likes dark nail polish. She broke her wrist a couple weeks ago and then cut off her own cast to go to a dance audition; I keep telling her she should get a new one… We joke that I’m acting like her mother.
What would have happened if I hadn’t offered to move? How would my life have been different?
See you tomorrow,