Goodbye Life of a Spinster Aunt

I never imagined my wedding as a little girl.

My sister and I had bunkbeds as kids and it wasn’t rare that I’d fall asleep listening to her describe in painstaking detail every minute aspect of her shockingly purple wedding-to-be.

But that’s just it, I fell asleep. I wasn’t into wedding planning as an eight year old, even then I think they may have been some doubt because I don’t think I ever really thought I would get married. I just kind of assumed I’d grow too old and become a cat lady with no cats (cause I’m allergic) and just be a spinster aunt. I wasn’t even really disturbed by this reality, it just seemed like it was bound to be reality, it seemed natural.

I never really got particularly lonely as a child, I liked to read and play alone, and I was a little odd. We all know looking back we were a little odd but some people grow out of that. I don’t think I ever did, in fact I think I grew into it. I just kind of assumed that no one would want to put up with my weird and drama and pickiness and silly and I was okay with that, I didn’t think anyone had to. I’m a rather logical person; it seemed a rather logical conclusion.

And yet here I am, wedding planning. I’m still a little shocked sometimes that Ryan loves me, goodness, even likes me! I don’t even like me very much of the time! But then I wake up to a text, “Good morning beautiful” and I go to sleep to “I love you” and it’s this happy little surprise every time because somewhere inside I feel I can never expect it. I never expect to be loved and am often surprised to find that I’m liked. I am still not very good at being in touch with my emotions but I’m trying and the fact that someone could be so in touch with theirs as to consciously choose to spend some liking me, am I really worth it?

And please don’t think I say this so people can assure me that I am (in fact assurance has yet to have much affect and I’m 23) I simply say it because what I never expected, and assumed would never happen, has, and I picked out “The” white dress today and we’re picking venues and choosing colours and building up our wedding party squad and sometimes it’s like I’m in someone else’s dream because how could it possibly actually be mine? Where are the cats? Where is the spinster life? What is this love and acceptance and friendship and future?

It’s mine.

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ENGAGED!!

Well the title sorta gave it away huh? Guess I coulda come up with a more vague one… Nah, big news can be abrupt!

Ryan and I are engaaaaaaged!

I thought maybe it might be fun to put up some blog posts now and then through the wedding planning process that has now arisen! But before that I should prooooooobably share the engagement story! (*Spoiler alert, it’s super cute)

So Ryan and I had a hike planned in the Whiteshell Provincial Park for Saturday March 11. The park is about an hour and a half away but we like to go out there when we can to do some hikes and had been trying to get a winter hike in since like January, but I don’t get many Saturdays off work. We’d also just gone two weeks ago to hike around a different area, so heading out there didn’t seem suspicious to me at the time!

We’d planned ahead where we wanted to go hike because it’s a large park and I later discovered that last Sunday Ryan had secretly gone out with his dad (never hike alone kids!) to scope the area out and pick his spot! So on Saturday we’re driving through the park and we pass a sign for one of the lakes and Ryan says, “Oh I think McGillivray Falls is just after this lake, can you keep an eye out for the sign?” (sneaky sneaky sir, you were there less then a week ago…) so we spot the area and go to turn in. Well the parking lot isn’t plowed and in a Manitoba winter if the parking lot isn’t plowed you’re not parking in the parking lot so Ryan’s going, do you think it’s fine to park on the shoulder here? Should we drive down and see if there’s somewhere to park? and I’m like, nah, shoulder is fine, we’re out of the way, it’s not busy, we goooood (He’d parked in the exact same place less than a week ago, sneaky sneaaaaky…)

So we kind of casually make our way through the hike, up alongside the frozen waterfall and Ryan is somehow subliminally directing me to his spot (I had no idea he was guiding me there haha I thought I was choosing our turns!!). So we arrive at this very pretty vantage point where you have a view out over the lake and can see the frozen falls down to the side and the trees lining the banks and it’s all pretty and snowy and everything and Ryan (who was standing behind me) says, “Look, someone’s initials are carved in this tree!”

I turned and looked and sure enough RW and BW are carved very clearly into the side of the tree we’re beside. So I was like, aww cute! (And in my head am thinking those could be ouuurrrr initials one day!  What a funny coincidence! Yes, I can take a while for things to click) But I didn’t say aloud that they would be our initials because I didn’t want to seem presumptuous, I mean, I’m a lady! Ryan says, “Like Ryan Watson and Becca Watson…” and something in his face or his voice checked me and it suddenly clicked what was happening and then he started getting down on one knee and then he propooosedddd to meeeeeeee!

And, of course, I said yes!

So there we are, our planned adventure for the day became an adventure for a lifetime!

 

This Is It.

Heyyyyyy friend! It’s been, let’s see now, well, umm, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Nearly five months?! Sheesh, my bad… So how ya been?

Summarizing the last five months could be tricky, lets see, I did keep cooking a bit, I know the posts dropped off at “E” but I made chicken broccoli noodle thing (F), pretzel buns with cream cheese icing dip (G), and Sloppy Joe Mac & Cheese (H) and maybe some other stuff but I don’t remember. I’m going to try and get back into weekly cooking, still ironing out my back-to-school schedule though.

But the summer was great! Mostly worked, but did get to take a trip to BC with mah boyfriend Ryan to visit with family and adventure down there for a bit! If you’d like to see some of what we did I did put together a video shortly after the trip

And since then school has started up again! Well for me, Ryan’s a fancy graduate with a grown-up job and everything (he’s my inspiration for what to be like next year, you see!). I am in my last year of school. It’s weird. I remember my last year of high school, it was exciting and incredibly nerve-racking all at once. There’s the excitement of moving on but also the emptiness of what is going to happen next, it feels like everything is so unknown. I’m getting feeling like that again now. This is my fourth year in university, I have the year mapped out until April when I wear the gown and funny cap and get handed a piece of paper and then I have absolutely no idea and when I start to think about that, it terrifies me. I feel so unprepared and inadequate.

Now I’m not saying that school has let me down and not taught me what I needed, I hope it has, but I am not confident that I’ll find a job, I’m not confident there will be a job, I worry I’ll be working 34.5 hours a week in a minimum wage job forever because why would someone chose me over someone else? I realize my instinct here is to say, “I wouldn’t.” and that makes me sad. Why wouldn’t I chose me? What’s wrong with me?

The other day my alarm went off and I opened my eyes after a night of tossing and turning. I couldn’t have gotten more than two hours “sleep” all night – the start of a terrible day, no? But a thought popped into my head. My boyfriend (who is a very smart man) has three things he tries to do (or would it be, be? Grammar… :P), Be optimistic, be patient, and no complaining. So I turned off that alarm and I took a breath and I decided, this is my day. No one can ruin it but me, and I say it’s my day and it’ll be just fine. And you know what, it was. It was very nearly a pretty good day actually.

So this is my year. I’ll try and blog bits and pieces of it but I know already it’ll be busy as heck so I don’t know how often I’ll pop in. I wrote out a list of all my assignments and due dates and oooh baby, this’ll be fun! But it’s my year, it’s going to happen. There will be no repeats of grade 12’s downward spiral to capital “B” Bad Times, these are sure gonna be some capital “B” Busy Times, but capital “G” Good Times too. We got dis, got a team of great folks to support and be supported by and we’re gonna do some cool stuff this year 🙂

– B

PS – I went exploring in the woods behind my university the other day. That was fun.

Long Story Short

Hello, long time no post. How’ve you been? Yeah? Cool/That’s great/Sorry to hear that/Really?

I’ve been good. I mean today wasn’t the best morning but generally I’ve been good, really.

I haven’t posted a personal post on this blog since September 13 when I explained that I would be using this blog for a school project for the semester. I did that and then kind of ditched, sorry! Guess I got blogged out. But really what that means is you know nothing about how my junior year of university is going! Here’s the cliffsnotes version from September to now:

  • I’m doing a lot more major-specific courses at university this year and it’s really fun! I like my major, yayyyy! I started practicum in January, I’m working with the communications and media department at my university so that’s fun! Also really convenient because I commute out to school which takes up a good two hours of driving each day, so doing my practicum at school means I can use my long spares for something productive and I don’t have to do yet another thing on top of homework when I finally make it home at the end of the day!
  • I have a boyfriend. His name is Ryan, I like him lots and we’ve been dating for five months. I don’t know what else to say about this, umm ask questions if you want…?
    Haha okay so here’s the deal, I never know how to talk about relationship stuff and its not because I want to keep it quiet or anything I just don’t want to overshare or seem like I’m boasting in the wonderfulness that is our relationship (which I could do, really!). I’m more than happy to answer questions if you care but don’t expect me to volunteer much unprompted!
Internet, meet Ryan.

And now for your formal introduction, Internet, meet Ryan.

  • I really want to work at DisneyWorld. Haha alright so this isn’t really new, this has been years in the making, but this past spring I applied for the Disney Cultural Exchange program which would have meant I would have been working at Disney World, FL for three months over the summer. I got an interview but would have had to fly out to Toronto for a forty-five minute meeting which I just couldn’t do as a somewhat broke college student. So alas my dreams of working at Disney have been dashed for now but who knows… after all, Winnipeg has a Disney Store!
IMG_7659

See, Disney means hanging out with friends! Disney is a happy place to be!

  • My mum has officially had her new kidney for over a year! Some of you may remember last January when my mum had a kidney transplant due to kidney failure. January 8th was the one-year anniversary of that surgery and everything continues to go swimmingly! The kidney took really well and she’s got more energy and is able to sleep better and eat more and all sorts of things! It’s really nice =)
  • I have managed to keep Rory the fish alive for a year and four months. He’s still swimming folks! That means he has survived me for ten months longer than any of my past fish did… Good job Rory.

So there my update for ya and for future me who may just be narcissistic enough to come back and read these one day… I probably won’t be posted regularly on here because school is craaaaazy and life’s busy but I’ll try my best to pop by! In the meantime, if you’re just dying to keep up with all my comings and goings, feel free to follow me on Twitter (@rlpbeckleston) or Instagram (@rlpdean). I’m around there pretty often!

It’s nice to be back =) Hope all your present endeavors are going well! Talk to ya later!
-B

Having a Crush

Having a crush on someone is weird.

It often seems to happen that you get a crush on someone your don’t know very well or maybe not even at all but suddenly you’re all, this person + me, must = PERECTION! and then there’s the whole, wait, this is all in my head unless I talk to this person which means…

Ahh, the dilemmas of the computer-o-holic

And then there’s the whole, what if I talk to them and they turn out really boring or I am just totally disillusioned and blah. It’s the problem of talk to them and it could work out or talk to them and it’s all Nooooooooonooooooonoooonooonoononononononononooooo…! Then what? Then you have no more crush and that can either be great or you can go through break-up problems eat-your-feelings etc without ever having actually been in a relationship in the first place… IT’S ALL ONE-SIDED AND ITS SOOO SAAAAAAAD!!!!

Or maybe that’s just me.

Oh, and everything that was said in this video, Yes. Couldn’t have said it better myself! Truth! Valid. Preach it sista’! Go Janice, go Janice! (starting at 1:04-the end)

 

Soooooo talk to you tomorrow!
-B

Being a Closet Romantic

I’m kind of a closet romantic. Okay, I’m a hopeless romantic. I cry during books and movies when characters get together; I just giggled and sniffed and cried through the last twenty minutes of Sense and Sensibility (1995) because Marianne and Colonel Brandon, and Eleanor and Edward and, and, and IT’S JUST, LIKE SERIOUSLY THE WORLD IS MADE OF BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS AND I’M ON A ROLLER COASTER THAT ONLY GOES UP!!

haa katie

HAPPY FEELS!

 

 

 

 

 

I seem to give off this sense in real life that I’m very sensible and I think if we’re talking Sense and Sensibility, I’d certainly be more like Eleanor, but while I pretend to look down my nose at the happily-ever-after books my mum and sister get from the library, I secretly love them. I sneak them off of people’s shelves and read them in two hour sittings with this goofy grin on my face for most of the time. Like, I get really into it and sometimes I’m like Okay, time to stop. This is too much now, ODing on butterflies and rainbows here…

My friends used to tease me saying I was gonna grow up to be a nun because I was totally that girl who was still going, Ew boys… and looking away from the tv screen when two characters kissed when she was like fourteen. Yup, I was that girl who insisted romance was blahhhhhh. Now while we’re talking about maturity lets all chant, “Lair lair, pants on fire, hanging from a telephone wire…” Ya, I’ve been a closet romantic probably since about Eowyn and Faramir, or Aragorn and Arwen when I was 11…

And yet, personally, at the rate I’m going I might end up just being a hopeless romantic/cat-lady (but without the cats, because, well, I’m allergic…) because at nineteen and a half I have one friend my age married and three friends my age engaged and I’ve never had a boyfriend. Sometimes I think it would be nice but then I remember how much I relate to a tumblr post I once read that went something along the lines of:

“Boyfriend acquired. Now what do I do with it? How often do I feed it? Do I walk it?”

And I was just like yes! I would have no idea what was going on, so it’s times like that I realize I am still waaaaaay too immature to have a boyfriend. I wouldn’t know how often to feed it and I couldn’t possibly be responsible for all those walks!

So what are some books that made me curl up my toes and giggle while reading? So glad you asked! (Note: This list does not include the books my mother takes out of the library and I read on the DL)

  • Our Mutual Friend – Charles Dickens **btw, this is my all-time favourite book**
  • Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
  • Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
  • Little Women/Good Wives – Louisa May Alcott
  • Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman Series – Pamela Aidan (retelling of P&P from Darcy’s point of view; phenomenal! Would recommend to any Austen lover!)
  • The DragonKeeper Chronicles – Donita K. Paul
  • Divergent/Insurgent – Veronica Roth
  • The Hunger Games (totally almost typed The Hugger Games there, thought you’d all appreciate that) – Suzanne Collins

So lovely people, next times your looking for a good book give one of these ones a try. Sorry to any guys who read this, these are kind of stereotypically women’s books but if you want to read them, go for it!!

I’m off to continue being a bit of a hopeless romantic now, at least it’s not really a secret anymore!

katie

katie pt 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talk to you tomorrow!
-Becky