The Need of Internet

I don’t need the Internet anymore.

Now there are a couple things in this sentence you could confront me on, first, need – who needs the Internet? But also anymore – so I did need it then? And what changed?

I’m reading a book for my Media and Society class right now called The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships and it’s sort of freaking me out a tad but I think I’m also learning lots. It talks about Internet addiction and how it affects our brains and how we function and how it changes our relationships (for better and for worse, it’s not a doomsday book, they acknowledge that there are benefits!) but it’s making me consider how much I use the Internet and social media and why.

I began using the Internet more and more starting from around age seventeen. A friend introduced me to the vlogger (video-blogger) side of Youtube and within a few months I was vlogging myself. At this time I was in grade twelve and slowly giving into minor depression as I grew increasingly afraid of my unknown future and saw my friends all drifting into the great unknown. I felt that I was losing my friends, didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, didn’t like my part time job at a grocery store post-grad (I would “entertain” myself by seeing how far into a shift I could get without talking to someone. I clearly wasn’t a cashier!) and wasn’t pushing into God and building my faith thus allowing that to drift away too. I was lonely.

And the Internet, oh the Internet! The Internet helped me find friends, find friends fast and who had common interests and fun hobbies. I had Facebook, and now Youtube, next was Twitter and Tumblr, more and more ways to connect with my new friends. Now I’m not bashing this because it actually served a purpose in where I was at because as I somewhat dissolved into “living in” the Internet, it also helped bring me back out. I went to a convention in California, meeting friends I’d only previously known online. I’ve since gone on a second trip to DisneyWorld with them. I began organizing meet ups in Winnipeg a couple times a year for other people who were fans of some of the same Youtubers as I was.

"Nerdfighter" meet-up 2012

“Winnipeg Nerdfighter” meet-up 2012

"Nerdfighter" meet-up 2013

“Winnipeg Nerdfighter” meet-up 2013

The Internet sucked me in, yes. I became too reliant on it, yes. But it also helped me grow, a lot. I planned my portion of two trips out of the country and then travelled there alone. I organized meet-ups with people I’d never met before and spent time getting to know them. As I found solace online I began to gain more confidence in my real life outside of the Internet. I made friends with coworkers, I reconnected with high school friends, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. As I gained a few subscribers on Youtube I began to value my voice and think about what I was saying more and through vlogging I actually developed an interest and some practical skill in video making, an aspect of what I hope my future career will involve.

Lately the Internet hasn’t been very fulfilling though. It’s no longer serving the purpose it once did and I think perhaps I’ve outgrown it. It’s not that I don’t value the friendships I made while regularly vlogging or even regularly watching Youtube videos – I do, very much, I would consider many of them to now be friends, but I no longer solely need the Internet to feel that I am connecting with people and being heard. I begin to find it tiresome, Internet connections cannot interact the same way as people in real life. I have friends and hobbies and goals and a life that extends past the limitations of my laptop and my wifi. I can appreciate the ability to stay connected using social media and the like, but I prefer to see friends in person and actually go out and to things and build relationships in that sense. And that’s a big change for me. There was a time when I would Facebook message you instead of trying to get together in person. Now, well… now I’ll do both 😉

I suppose over the last five years I’ve been able to mature and get to know myself better. I’ve experienced life online, and it’s fun for a time and serves its purpose, but I’ve discovered it’s crucially important to maintain a solid foundation in the real world. To be able connect with people in person is something that cannot be replaced and it is only through the challenges and bumps that we face along the road that we can grow, and those are rarely found within the safe walls we build up for ourselves online. Online is a place to hide from challenges and bumps, however, in the sage words of The Sound of Music‘s Reverend Mother, “These walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.”

-B

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EETS CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAAS!!!

MERRY/HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! (no happy holiday wishes here! :D)

Today was great =) This morning we did our immediate family Christmas so mum and dad and my siblings and I did stocking and presents at home and then for the afternoon we went to one of my uncles and aunts’ house and had a big CHristmas dinner with my mum’s parents and her three siblings and their families, 22 people in all, half of which are under 12. It’s pretty crowded 😉

Christmas dinner was accelerated this year because Amy and I were going to British Columbia to spend a week with my dad’s side of the family (because we both had to work over the summer and didn’t get to come out and see them all). We had dinner and opened gifts and then Amy and I were whisked off to the airport! It was only a short flight over here but I’m halfway through Allegiant now so that’s fun (so far so good!!) We landed and were picked up by our grandma and one of our cousins, T.

We then drove back to their place in time to catch the wrapping up of their family Christmas fun and then Amy and I went over to our cousins house. They’re in the process of moving so it’s just my two cousins (and one of T’s friends, C) at their house right now so we were gonna have a sleepover party. Other cousin, J suggested we build a fort and sleep in it and we thought that sounded like fun! So we built, like, the most epic fort ever. We used bedsheets, chairs, coffee tables, bobby pins, and shoelaces to complete it and when we were down it took up the majority of the living room, could be stood up in at one end, and was easily large enough for the four of us to sleep in. (T’s friend C was too tired to join in the fort-buidling festivities).

fort

J exiting the massive fort

 

in fort

Making our prettiest Christmas faces in the fort.  L-R: T, Amy, J, me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amy and T gave up on the fort an hour or two in but J and I stayed all night! We made it, we were intrepid explorers, we were- asleep. T and Amy couldn’t fall asleep. I was closest to the fire(place) so I was fine and J wanted it to be nice and cold so HE OPENED THE WINDOW and left it open all night. When we woke up it was FREEEEEZING. Okay, not freezing, I mean it’s only BC and I know Winnipeg winters, but it was not a comfortable temperature =D

It was fun though. We enjoyed ourselves.

-B