The Need of Internet

I don’t need the Internet anymore.

Now there are a couple things in this sentence you could confront me on, first, need – who needs the Internet? But also anymore – so I did need it then? And what changed?

I’m reading a book for my Media and Society class right now called The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships and it’s sort of freaking me out a tad but I think I’m also learning lots. It talks about Internet addiction and how it affects our brains and how we function and how it changes our relationships (for better and for worse, it’s not a doomsday book, they acknowledge that there are benefits!) but it’s making me consider how much I use the Internet and social media and why.

I began using the Internet more and more starting from around age seventeen. A friend introduced me to the vlogger (video-blogger) side of Youtube and within a few months I was vlogging myself. At this time I was in grade twelve and slowly giving into minor depression as I grew increasingly afraid of my unknown future and saw my friends all drifting into the great unknown. I felt that I was losing my friends, didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, didn’t like my part time job at a grocery store post-grad (I would “entertain” myself by seeing how far into a shift I could get without talking to someone. I clearly wasn’t a cashier!) and wasn’t pushing into God and building my faith thus allowing that to drift away too. I was lonely.

And the Internet, oh the Internet! The Internet helped me find friends, find friends fast and who had common interests and fun hobbies. I had Facebook, and now Youtube, next was Twitter and Tumblr, more and more ways to connect with my new friends. Now I’m not bashing this because it actually served a purpose in where I was at because as I somewhat dissolved into “living in” the Internet, it also helped bring me back out. I went to a convention in California, meeting friends I’d only previously known online. I’ve since gone on a second trip to DisneyWorld with them. I began organizing meet ups in Winnipeg a couple times a year for other people who were fans of some of the same Youtubers as I was.

"Nerdfighter" meet-up 2012

“Winnipeg Nerdfighter” meet-up 2012

"Nerdfighter" meet-up 2013

“Winnipeg Nerdfighter” meet-up 2013

The Internet sucked me in, yes. I became too reliant on it, yes. But it also helped me grow, a lot. I planned my portion of two trips out of the country and then travelled there alone. I organized meet-ups with people I’d never met before and spent time getting to know them. As I found solace online I began to gain more confidence in my real life outside of the Internet. I made friends with coworkers, I reconnected with high school friends, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. As I gained a few subscribers on Youtube I began to value my voice and think about what I was saying more and through vlogging I actually developed an interest and some practical skill in video making, an aspect of what I hope my future career will involve.

Lately the Internet hasn’t been very fulfilling though. It’s no longer serving the purpose it once did and I think perhaps I’ve outgrown it. It’s not that I don’t value the friendships I made while regularly vlogging or even regularly watching Youtube videos – I do, very much, I would consider many of them to now be friends, but I no longer solely need the Internet to feel that I am connecting with people and being heard. I begin to find it tiresome, Internet connections cannot interact the same way as people in real life. I have friends and hobbies and goals and a life that extends past the limitations of my laptop and my wifi. I can appreciate the ability to stay connected using social media and the like, but I prefer to see friends in person and actually go out and to things and build relationships in that sense. And that’s a big change for me. There was a time when I would Facebook message you instead of trying to get together in person. Now, well… now I’ll do both 😉

I suppose over the last five years I’ve been able to mature and get to know myself better. I’ve experienced life online, and it’s fun for a time and serves its purpose, but I’ve discovered it’s crucially important to maintain a solid foundation in the real world. To be able connect with people in person is something that cannot be replaced and it is only through the challenges and bumps that we face along the road that we can grow, and those are rarely found within the safe walls we build up for ourselves online. Online is a place to hide from challenges and bumps, however, in the sage words of The Sound of Music‘s Reverend Mother, “These walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.”

-B

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Long Story Short

Hello, long time no post. How’ve you been? Yeah? Cool/That’s great/Sorry to hear that/Really?

I’ve been good. I mean today wasn’t the best morning but generally I’ve been good, really.

I haven’t posted a personal post on this blog since September 13 when I explained that I would be using this blog for a school project for the semester. I did that and then kind of ditched, sorry! Guess I got blogged out. But really what that means is you know nothing about how my junior year of university is going! Here’s the cliffsnotes version from September to now:

  • I’m doing a lot more major-specific courses at university this year and it’s really fun! I like my major, yayyyy! I started practicum in January, I’m working with the communications and media department at my university so that’s fun! Also really convenient because I commute out to school which takes up a good two hours of driving each day, so doing my practicum at school means I can use my long spares for something productive and I don’t have to do yet another thing on top of homework when I finally make it home at the end of the day!
  • I have a boyfriend. His name is Ryan, I like him lots and we’ve been dating for five months. I don’t know what else to say about this, umm ask questions if you want…?
    Haha okay so here’s the deal, I never know how to talk about relationship stuff and its not because I want to keep it quiet or anything I just don’t want to overshare or seem like I’m boasting in the wonderfulness that is our relationship (which I could do, really!). I’m more than happy to answer questions if you care but don’t expect me to volunteer much unprompted!
Internet, meet Ryan.

And now for your formal introduction, Internet, meet Ryan.

  • I really want to work at DisneyWorld. Haha alright so this isn’t really new, this has been years in the making, but this past spring I applied for the Disney Cultural Exchange program which would have meant I would have been working at Disney World, FL for three months over the summer. I got an interview but would have had to fly out to Toronto for a forty-five minute meeting which I just couldn’t do as a somewhat broke college student. So alas my dreams of working at Disney have been dashed for now but who knows… after all, Winnipeg has a Disney Store!
IMG_7659

See, Disney means hanging out with friends! Disney is a happy place to be!

  • My mum has officially had her new kidney for over a year! Some of you may remember last January when my mum had a kidney transplant due to kidney failure. January 8th was the one-year anniversary of that surgery and everything continues to go swimmingly! The kidney took really well and she’s got more energy and is able to sleep better and eat more and all sorts of things! It’s really nice =)
  • I have managed to keep Rory the fish alive for a year and four months. He’s still swimming folks! That means he has survived me for ten months longer than any of my past fish did… Good job Rory.

So there my update for ya and for future me who may just be narcissistic enough to come back and read these one day… I probably won’t be posted regularly on here because school is craaaaazy and life’s busy but I’ll try my best to pop by! In the meantime, if you’re just dying to keep up with all my comings and goings, feel free to follow me on Twitter (@rlpbeckleston) or Instagram (@rlpdean). I’m around there pretty often!

It’s nice to be back =) Hope all your present endeavors are going well! Talk to ya later!
-B

With Great Power…

Sometimes an app comes along and with it comes too much power for one person to handle, and yet one person handles it. Sometimes an app gives you the power to annoy your friends so much they may not allow you to call them your friends. That app is here and it’s free. It’s called Giffage.

Available on the Apple App store Giffage is a gif keyboard providing a full library of gifs for every occasion, ranging from Maria Von Trapp shooting machine guns while singing The Hills Are Alive to President Obama giving one of his speeches. Whatever you have to say, can now be said in gif without having to do an internet search.

Just think how much time you can save when you’re on a roll of meme replies!

An All-round Good Day

Today was just an all-round pretty good day. My prof in my first (and only today) class opened it by greating us with “Today is Friday the 13th, so those of you who are superstitious, get over it.” which, as I’m not and never have been, superstitious I found highly entertaining.

We then had a commuters potluck for lunch and I ate waaaaaaay too many candy hearts and cinnamon hearts (but I just love them so much…!)

And then! And then. Then two of my friends and I discovered that in the packs of valetines that had been brought in to write up to give to friends if desired, there were Disney princess temporary tattoos.
Upon discovering this we did the only logical thing that university students can do.

We chose a bunch and stuck them to ourselves and made up valentines to bring to all our friends so they too could have disney princess tattoos!

We're the coolest young adults, Happy Disneytines Day!

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A classmate asked me if it wasn’t a little vain to have a tattoo of myself on my arm, so apparently I’m now Ariel (which I can handle ;D I’ve been her before)

Wait, have I ever shown you a picture of the time I was Ariel?

I was Ariel.

Anyway, the point, I had an Ariel TATTOO today and that was great and stuff.

Then this evening I was going to be going skating with our youth group (I’m a leader) and I was looking downstairs in our crawl space for a particular scarf. Instead I found a pair of nearly new figure skates in my size…

TO MY AWARENESS WE HAVE NEVER HAD SKATES IN MY SIZE.

My family does not “do” skating (or most outdoor winter activities). As a kid I remember have a hand-me-down pair of figure skates from my second cousin but I vividly remember how sad I was when I grew out of them. I’ve been renting skates whenever I go skating ever since. I have no idea where these turned up from…
Tonight I did not have to rent skates. I got them sharpened because they were old and a leetle rusty (man are sharpened skates easier to skate in!) and it was fun! I mean it was freezing, -31C and suuuuper windy on the river trail there, but we had a good time. No injuries or frostbite or nuffin. My friend Lyd and I got a picture “with” an ice sculpture of a whale or something so that was exciting.

And yeah, I’m really pumped that I now own figure skates and don’t have to pay to rent them any more, it’s great!

So, mhmm, talk to ya tomorrowww
-B

DIDNEY WORL?

Well today I came home from work with a headache (not an uncommon occurrence unfortunately) and accidentally napped for an hour. Waking up I ate a couple soda crackers to settle my stomach and nursed a water bottle while finishing memorizing my script.

Also, some friends may be heading to Disney in May and I’m gonna try and see if I can afford to go too because DIDNEY WORL!!

The script is (I think) memorized. Guess I’ll find out tomorrow, but I’ve gone through it this evening and it went well. The headaches drifting off but I think going to bed early (now) will help finish it off.

SO tomorrow will be a beautifully massively long day, but in May, maybe…

-B

Into the Woods

So when the trailer for Into the Woods came out a while ago I was very excited and ready to go see it the moment it came out. I’ve never seen the musical (something I mean to rectify) but the stills and the trailer and the concept and the music intrigued me.

When I saw a clip released of Chris Pine and Billy Magnussen singing “Agony” it was hilarious and I was resold on going to see the movie.

So yesterday between services at church my friend was like, hey, lets go see Into the Woods tonight and I was like, I work, but if theres a showing afterwards YES.

And there was, so we invited our buddies and went and it was hilarious and fantatic but we were like the only people in the theatre laughing and I think the others were like actually talking it seriously… Like while its really well done it’s kind of like “We’re talking ourselves very seriously in this musical” *wink* (However more people died than I was anticipating and I personally wouldn’t recomend it for an under thriteen year old as there is some mature content)

The casting was super good, but as for the whole movie, we agreed the second half wasn’t really as good as the first (but a friend has informed me they changed Act II up from the original musical so that may be why it didn’t seem as great) However, MAN! can Meryl Streep sing! Like, so well! And Jack is Gavroche from Les Miserables so that was fun!
I enjoyed the movie very much (I also enjoyed getting Frosties and fries at Wendy’s afterwards…)

So yup, go see Into the Woods!
– B

Peter Paning for Days

Well as I’m sure you can tell, I’m fantastic at doing things regularly…! I’m not going to give up though, I think I can I think I can I think I can…

Anyway, today is halloween and I don’t celebrate halloween, our family never has (no I’ve never been trick or treating etc) but I like excuses to dress up in costumes sooooooo…

… today I dressed up as Peter Pan and went to school like that.

I had been thinking of doing this outfit but didn’t plan ahead very well so yesterday evening I quickly texted my mum as she was finishing a meeting and asked if she had a dagger and a red feather. The joy of being the daughter of someone who works with kids is that her answer was yes. So I borrowed a dagger and feather from her and a green toque/beanie/hat from my sister and I sewed a feather in my cap!

You seeing where this costume's going…? #secondstartotheright

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I had the clothes for the outfit already (in fact I’ve worn this outfit before and someone pointed out that with my hair I looked like Peter Pan which gave me the idea) so this morning I did my hair in a bun, covered it with my cap, put my dagger in my belt and was ready for school!

And now I'm ready for school! #secondstartotheright #peterpaningfordays

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Just for fun I decided to put a little bit of “pixie dust” on my nails… They did not fly. Tink must have given me the knock-off stuff… (I wouldn’t put it past her, honestly…)

I even got pixie dust for my nails ;D #whyaretheynotflying

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Anyway, I had fun and people at school seemed mildly amused by me so alls well that ends well right! ;D

If you’re out tonight I hope you have fun and stay safe!
Talk to you tomorrow,
-B