Welcome Here

Shall we start fresh? How about no catch up, just a quick introduction and we’ll see if we can jump back into it.

Getting back into something is hard, especially something you did regularly for a long time. It feels unfamiliar yet that of itself feels wrong because it was so familiar, it was so normal and comfortable and now it feels stiff and foreign. For a while I was blogging here almost every day and then school, and work, and life, and everything just sort of pushed in front and The Quester’s Tale lay vaccent.

I don’t believe I had any die hard fans (sorry if I’m doubting you, I appreciate you dear reader but did you really miss me? I just stopped appearing in front of you and faded into the background and your life continued on merrily and that’s fine, that’s good, I’m glad to think no one was disappointed when my blog began to take on the look of an abandoned house!) But now I’m back and committing to nothing, but saying hello.

Hello!

I’m Rebecca. I’m a Christian, a university graduate (BA, Maj. Communications and Media, Min. Intercultural Studies) and a newlywed (October 7, 2017). I struggle with anxiety and have fought through depressive periods (I hesitate to flat out call it depression because I know many are worse off than I). I like to write, and read, and watch, and am trying to get better at listening. I’m constantly cold and worry I’m growing out of my sweet tooth with age.

I used to make Youtube videos (that too fell too the wayside, another casualty of “Life”. I still Tweet and Instagram a decent amount so if you’d be interested in seeing more regular stuff or chatting, those are the places to be, but I’m going to try and pop back around here more. Start some writing and journaling. During past periods of transition I’ve found writing a helpful way to process and sometimes this place to shout into the void helps.

Here’s some pics from the last little while before I head off!

(More wedding pics here if you’re interested: randrmydearwatson.wordpress.com)

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Goodbye Life of a Spinster Aunt

I never imagined my wedding as a little girl.

My sister and I had bunkbeds as kids and it wasn’t rare that I’d fall asleep listening to her describe in painstaking detail every minute aspect of her shockingly purple wedding-to-be.

But that’s just it, I fell asleep. I wasn’t into wedding planning as an eight year old, even then I think they may have been some doubt because I don’t think I ever really thought I would get married. I just kind of assumed I’d grow too old and become a cat lady with no cats (cause I’m allergic) and just be a spinster aunt. I wasn’t even really disturbed by this reality, it just seemed like it was bound to be reality, it seemed natural.

I never really got particularly lonely as a child, I liked to read and play alone, and I was a little odd. We all know looking back we were a little odd but some people grow out of that. I don’t think I ever did, in fact I think I grew into it. I just kind of assumed that no one would want to put up with my weird and drama and pickiness and silly and I was okay with that, I didn’t think anyone had to. I’m a rather logical person; it seemed a rather logical conclusion.

And yet here I am, wedding planning. I’m still a little shocked sometimes that Ryan loves me, goodness, even likes me! I don’t even like me very much of the time! But then I wake up to a text, “Good morning beautiful” and I go to sleep to “I love you” and it’s this happy little surprise every time because somewhere inside I feel I can never expect it. I never expect to be loved and am often surprised to find that I’m liked. I am still not very good at being in touch with my emotions but I’m trying and the fact that someone could be so in touch with theirs as to consciously choose to spend some liking me, am I really worth it?

And please don’t think I say this so people can assure me that I am (in fact assurance has yet to have much affect and I’m 23) I simply say it because what I never expected, and assumed would never happen, has, and I picked out “The” white dress today and we’re picking venues and choosing colours and building up our wedding party squad and sometimes it’s like I’m in someone else’s dream because how could it possibly actually be mine? Where are the cats? Where is the spinster life? What is this love and acceptance and friendship and future?

It’s mine.

Wedding Shower

Today was the wedding shower for one of my good friends who I’ve known practically since birth. This is the fourth person within a year who is my age (or younger) and has gotten married. I’m super happy for them but I cannot imagine being married at my age, like WHAAAAA?

Anyway, obviously all us humans are different so they’re obviously at the stage when they’re ready to get married so I wish them all the best!

(but seriously guys, you’re making me feel old and like, grown up or something… ;D)

The bride-to-be and 4/5 of her bridesmaids

The bride-to-be and 4/5 of her bridesmaids

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talk to you tomorrow!
-B