This Is It.

Heyyyyyy friend! It’s been, let’s see now, well, umm, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Nearly five months?! Sheesh, my bad… So how ya been?

Summarizing the last five months could be tricky, lets see, I did keep cooking a bit, I know the posts dropped off at “E” but I made chicken broccoli noodle thing (F), pretzel buns with cream cheese icing dip (G), and Sloppy Joe Mac & Cheese (H) and maybe some other stuff but I don’t remember. I’m going to try and get back into weekly cooking, still ironing out my back-to-school schedule though.

But the summer was great! Mostly worked, but did get to take a trip to BC with mah boyfriend Ryan to visit with family and adventure down there for a bit! If you’d like to see some of what we did I did put together a video shortly after the trip

And since then school has started up again! Well for me, Ryan’s a fancy graduate with a grown-up job and everything (he’s my inspiration for what to be like next year, you see!). I am in my last year of school. It’s weird. I remember my last year of high school, it was exciting and incredibly nerve-racking all at once. There’s the excitement of moving on but also the emptiness of what is going to happen next, it feels like everything is so unknown. I’m getting feeling like that again now. This is my fourth year in university, I have the year mapped out until April when I wear the gown and funny cap and get handed a piece of paper and then I have absolutely no idea and when I start to think about that, it terrifies me. I feel so unprepared and inadequate.

Now I’m not saying that school has let me down and not taught me what I needed, I hope it has, but I am not confident that I’ll find a job, I’m not confident there will be a job, I worry I’ll be working 34.5 hours a week in a minimum wage job forever because why would someone chose me over someone else? I realize my instinct here is to say, “I wouldn’t.” and that makes me sad. Why wouldn’t I chose me? What’s wrong with me?

The other day my alarm went off and I opened my eyes after a night of tossing and turning. I couldn’t have gotten more than two hours “sleep” all night – the start of a terrible day, no? But a thought popped into my head. My boyfriend (who is a very smart man) has three things he tries to do (or would it be, be? Grammar… :P), Be optimistic, be patient, and no complaining. So I turned off that alarm and I took a breath and I decided, this is my day. No one can ruin it but me, and I say it’s my day and it’ll be just fine. And you know what, it was. It was very nearly a pretty good day actually.

So this is my year. I’ll try and blog bits and pieces of it but I know already it’ll be busy as heck so I don’t know how often I’ll pop in. I wrote out a list of all my assignments and due dates and oooh baby, this’ll be fun! But it’s my year, it’s going to happen. There will be no repeats of grade 12’s downward spiral to capital “B” Bad Times, these are sure gonna be some capital “B” Busy Times, but capital “G” Good Times too. We got dis, got a team of great folks to support and be supported by and we’re gonna do some cool stuff this year 🙂

– B

PS – I went exploring in the woods behind my university the other day. That was fun.

A Visit!?!

Today my brother and I got to go see my mum!! When she wrnt in we were told we wouldn’t be able to see her until she got home, she was only allowed two visitors to minimize any contact with germs as she’s on high immune-supresents as her body gets used to having a new organ in it. Without the immune-suppresents her body would attack the new kidney as a virus or invader and destroy it. So the immune-suppresents are a good thing, just not for my brother and I. My dad was obviously one of the apporved visitors, and the other was my sister who’s out of school and took the week off work.

So I had resigned myself to not seeing mum until she comes home (which could actually be as soon as Monday now!! exciting!) but then today I was texting her (gotta love technology) and she said, “The nurse said you can come visit if you want to” and I was like what, like now, okay I’ll come now!! So my sister came and picked up my brother and I and off we went!

Mum’s doing well, pretty tired and sore, kinda hard sleeping in hosptial beds and soreness is a normal post-surgery ailment, but she’s recoving. In fact, today the doctor told her her phosphates were low and she should eat some chocolate! She hasn’t been able to eat chocolate for seven or eight years now because her phosphates were always too high!! So dad got her a selection of things and she nibbled away at them guilt-free =)

Then this evening after I’d come home, my dad posted on facebook that my mum’s “blood clearance levels are now officially NORMAL! That means that [her] new kidney [(from my uncle)] is already cleaning her blood to such a degree that she’s getting the very same blood-test results that someone with a pair of healthy kidneys would get! Her nurse just exclaimed that she has never seen anyone reach NORMAL so quickly after a transplant! Thank you Lord!” So YAYYYY that’s exciting!! =) There’s still a ways to go with recovery but so far everythings good and God willing it will continue this way =)

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers, they’re very appreciated! Talk to you all tomorrow!
-B

Update: School and Mum

So yesterday was our first day in theology class. We’re working on unpacking, Who is Jesus? (and why does it matter?) Yesterday and today we’ve been talking about the biblical support for the fact that Jesus was simultaneously both fully God and fully man. My brain kind of hurts… But it’s very interesting seeing all the connections between Old and New Testament.

In the evenings we’ve also been having some classes, that were open to the whole church, on unpacking the gospel of Mark. These have also been really interesting. I like seeing all the connections between things but I’m still working on getting it all sorted out to be able to be understood in my brain.

Both this afternoon and yesterday afternoon I had off for “study” so I went to go see my mum who is still in the hospital. Yesterday (Monday) she was still in the observation ward of emergency so it was loud, crowded, the bed was uncomfortable and she really wasn’t feeling great. It was really hard to see her there, actually it was hardest to leave her there alone when I had to go home. But, yesterday evening they were able to move her into an actual room on a ward so that’s better. (even though it’s shared it’s much nicer than emergency!!) They’ve taken her off tylenol though to see if some of her symptoms are actually a kind of rare side-effect to the medicine, so she didn’t have a great sleep last night because she wasn’t on any pain meds for her muscle cramping. They were planning on trying a different med for pain tonight though so hopefully that will help.

As for the infection that they believe her body is fighting, they detected a very slight heart murmur today and are going to be doing more tests tomorrow to see if there’s possibly some kind of infection around her heart. If that is confirmed they should be able to start treating it. If it’s not, they’ll keep looking. They’re still doing lots of blood tests and stuff but, obviously, aren’t sure what it actually is making her feel sick.

Her fever was down today and when I visited her she was much more cheerful and mobile, we walked around a bit which she would not have been able to do yesterday! She’d had a lot of visitors though (my sister and grandparents just got home from a month-long trip in England yesterday so they stopped by as well as some other friends and family) so she was pretty tired, when I left she was going to settle down for a nap. My aunt and a family friend work also in the hospital where she is right now so they pop in periodically throughout the day to check up on her and pull strings if they need to 😉

It’s still hard to see her there, and it’s hard knowing that though the doctors are doing their best, she’s been there three days and they don’t know what it is that’s wrong. I think it’s mostly the not-knowing that scares me. We don’t actually know how serious it is because we’ve no idea what it is! It’s the waiting, the trusting-that-God-is-still-in-control-and-knows-what-he’s-doing side of things. The letting go, relinquishing control of the situation to God. I’m scared of doing that, because though I have no idea how serious the illness is, I do know that I’m not ready for God to take her and if I let him be in complete control of the situation I have to be saying that God is in control whatever the outcome whenever the outcome and I just have to let God be God. I’m really struggling with that right now.

Thank you to those who are continuing to pray for her healing, please continue to pray for her, and for wisdom for the doctors, that whatever is causing this pain or infection will be revealed and able to be treated promptly.

Talk to you all tomorrow!
-B

(Days until my 20th birthday: 14)